People in Southern California are always trying to associate themselves with Los Angeles. Even if they live 45 minutes away they wanna say LA this, and LA that and rightfully so. Los Angeles is the home of many great things from the Lakers, the Los Angeles Lakers, and even the LA Lakers. However here in Orange County we too have something that is untouchable by the folks in LA county, and that is the Orange County Fair. Whether its deep fried Twinkies, the worlds largest horse, or rides that are on the verge of breaking at any moment, you will be hard to find a dull moment when you are there.
Now, the best part about the fair has to be the stupid carnival games. It is widely accepted that these are the most rigged and fixed contests you could possibly be a part of, but that machismo/heterosexuality in all of us men makes us think that we can somehow beat the odds. With a little dumb luck and a plastic card with “tickets” on it you can try and walk out of the place with a stuffed animal that only cost you $140.00 to win, when in reality you wouldn’t pay $20.00 for it in any store or gift shop.
It’s not even about the stuffed animal, it’s about walking around with this giant dead deer hanging over your shoulders. As men we are there hunting, the stuffed animal represent the food we are bringing back to our women, showing them our ability to provide and take care of them. It’s all a sham though, and somehow I got caught up in it.
Ok, now seriously, look at that form….. rigged or not, no hoop can stop me.
The dead carcass I’m taking home to my woman!
After I showed my dominance in basketball, the boys started talking about going on some rides. The fair has rides that make you sick just from watching them. I personally wouldn’t get on half of the shit they have there for almost any amount of money. Ken felt the same way, he said “hell no!” to almost every ride we walked by. The thing was Calvin or Vincent or someone had free ride passes, so you just can’t throw away free ride passes can you??? Never being one to stray away from prop bets, (ex. Thomas and the buffalo wing experiment) I quickly began to probe Ken as to how much it would take to ride the Starship 2000 immediately after tanking a large beer. We agreed on $100.00 and headed over to the ride.
As we walked up to the ride, a debate was growing amongst us about what was the craziest ride in the park. After it seemed like no one could agree, I walked up to the guy who was working the Starship and told him about the bet and what we were looking for, he immediately pointed to what looked like a 500 foot tall crane that just plummeted in circles for what seemed like 5 minutes. We all agreed and walked to Ken’s ride.
The ride operator, yeah real assuring smile there buddy…..
I wish you could see how fast the thing went…..
Winner!!!!
Joe
